Be like a Boy Scout and be prepared
Perform some preventative maintenance on yourself before you go. No, I am not talking about any type of
metrosexual grooming. Instead, I am saying that you need to make sure that you have released some extra “baby batter” prior to departing. By doing so, you have a much better chance of thinking with your brain longer than the first twenty seconds after the initial bra hits the stage.
Make sure your wallet is prepared
Don’t be that guy who was dumb enough not to bring a gigantic wad of singles. Do be the guy who doesn’t bring any credit or ATM cards so the damage you actually can do is limited. Remember, you just might not be thinking with your head the entire night!
Volunteer to be the designated driver
Yes, usually this would be an incredibly stupid idea. But when the beers are $13.50 each and you have a topless waitress trying to sell you a $300 bottle of Grey Goose, it might be wise to sit this round out. When you are able to send your kid to college, you will know your sacrifice was worth it.
Avoid costly VIP or Champagne Rooms
Whether they call it a backroom, private room, VIP area, or the Champagne Room, most strip clubs will have a section in which the strippers will give you a more private performance. Now what goes on in these rooms will obviously differ on the type of the establishment, the stripper’s drug habit, and how much money you actually flash. Just realize that for the vast majority of cases, Chris Rock was right and “There is no sex in the Champagne Room.”
